Today is a day when I suddenly started to experience strange sentimental feelings which I cannot really explain or pinpoint the reason for having such. All of a sudden I found myself in a nostalgic mood, thinking back to past times, to the people I left behind in Switzerland and the great memories I shared with them. As I write these lines this nostalgia overtakes me. I put on an old vinyl record which I received from a very wonderful friend back home and started listening to the music that I have listened to many times before. This music somehow made everything more intense… surreal, like in a movie. 🙂
Somehow, I even enjoyed that feeling. It was not a bad feeling, even though I was close to tears when I started thinking back at some of the beautiful memories. I was catapulted out of my everyday life in that moment and thoughts about all my little problems were replaced with a deep sense of gratitude. I am grateful for having such a great life until now and for getting to know so many great people. Those times have made me the person I am today.
Despite those great experiences, I don’t want to go back to Switzerland. Not yet! I was so much looking forward to my adventure here in Portugal and now I am just at the start. Together with my partner, I am at the start of building a future, one we have dreamed of together.
Along the way, we have to accept that there would be some losses in order to achieve our dream. I am not able to visit my family so fast and easy anymore or to go spontaneously for a cup of tea with friends after work. Cultural events that I loved to visit don’t really exist here and there is no team with really great people to inspire me in my work. Handball – the sport I loved and which I dedicated myself to for over 10 years, is possible, but it’s just not the same as back home.
What we have here is an infinite amount of sun, that my annual recurring problem of winter depression, to my mind, is solved once and for all. At last I have time for myself and my personal heart projects. The people here are so friendly and not judgmental at all and I enjoy the peace and freedom gained. My life is no longer limited by the expectations of others and I don’t have to slip into roles just to please them. That feeling of freedom gives me strength. I can see clearly now that I am responsible for my own happiness and have the full responsibility for the events of my life. This can sometimes be a bit intimidating, but also character-strengthening.
With the coming of our first baby I would soon have my own family here, so this is my new home. For how long, I don’t know yet! I have learned that you can’t always plan everything in advance, so I will see what time unfolds and welcome whatever comes my way in life.
So, I gratefully keep all these beautiful memories in my heart and look forward to a just as beautiful future.
With much love,
